sábado, agosto 14, 2010

Closed for summer (or what remains of summer)



I'll go back to english for this post, no special reason but my own will. As you have noticed, this blog was quite silent for many days, I am quite unable to write posts when I am staying in my hometown cause I dont have internet there. These days I am in Vigo, so I can manage to write a post with calm.
Many things happened in these last weeks, we were attending to many concerts, parties, medieval dinners, viking parties, campings and even a festival in Portugal called Vagos Open Air. But I must say you will not watch any pic or any comment in here about them. I got tired of showing my personal life in blogs and specially in things like facebook, site which you will rarely see any personal pic, and even, I will start probably erasing some of the ones I have already uploaded. This is a temporary measure, I dont know if I will go on with that for a long time or my suspicious mind about internet will fade soon. I didnt like too much either that in a concert lastly one girl came to me asking "hey, you are enumaelis, right?" and that wasnt the first time. It is suppossed I'd be glad and flattered but I am not. Just the opossitte, I felt like I was exposing my life too much to others maybe. On the other side, I started thinking that maybe other friends that appear with me in pics wouldnt like to be recognized by others "thanks to me", or that just they dont like their friends are uploading pics where they appear (always facebook in mind). So from now, apart of the diary of a vi-king thing (parody of the famous spanish book "diary of a skin"), I will write just about tastes and opinions, but much less about events I was and pics I made. Same and even harder in relation to facebook. I dont like that web, sorry, each time less and less.

On the other side, I started the new Enuma Elis album. The first song is almost done and this blog will be the first place to show it. I can advance that will be faster and more compact. Guitars, even sounding bad, will be in a higher sound level and they will be more elaborated. The "progressive new age" will fade away and the "atmospherical thrash-meloblackdeath" will rise. This doesnt mean Enuma Elis will change style at all, just that I will try to develope more the guitar work, but mainly will be the same "progressive dark metal" as before.

The work with Miledh (the half real-half virtual band of pagan-melodeath-epic-galician metal) is going on slowlier than thought but fine. I fear it will be too slow cause the work is right now in my hands and I will not be in pc for a couple of weeks. I can advance that we are working in a nice galician cover song. If everything goes fine, it might have a shocking result, mixing rock, folk, epic and pseudoviking melodeath.
These last days we were working also in our 3rd song. Nobody knows how will sound at the end yet.

The Intro for the galician thrash-death-black band Vortex is also almost done. The first impression seemed not to be bad for them. I will upload it here when it is finished as well. Anyway, I will prepare another one for them, so they could choose better. I can advance that it's a very "soundtrack" song of 2 minutes, dark and dense, with a bit of arabic touch.

What else.. oh I got a nice surprise from one old friend that I recall I ment in that post of "3 years of enumaelis at blogspot" I wrote quite in a bad mood when recalling all that stuff, and I am having nearly the same feeling right now (not bad mood, but maybe bothered). I can even copy-paste the text he wrote me:

Hey, how are you? I'd like to get in touch with you again, so I'm asking you the friendship (I' sorry I did not remove "that friend" from my list when you asked it, but I saw your mail chain too late). Actually my friend list it's clean :-)...so I hope you will accept me: I'd like to know how are you doing...and maybe organize a visit!!! Your friend "M."

Oh my friend "M."... seems that some things arrive too late... sometimes even years late... yeah..
I have no comments for you, but there is just an angry-sad feeling that what I had written in that post I ment was just completely true (by the way, "that friend" erased you, not the opositte, Mrs. R. Karppinen was always very careful about keeping friendships... so much as caring about relationships :) ).
There are many people that take the time as erasmus as a period where you must "live the day", having "friends of the moment", and later you are just friend for a subsequent visit to the country of your "old friend".... meanwhile "each, on his own".... That was never my intention, and I even never thought about that or something like that when making friends abroad. ... I'm sorry, "old friend" but this is so clear in your letter... the last sentence betrays the rest. And even... only fools would really think that when you need your friends and they keep silent when you need, you would act like nothing happened 2 years after. This is also valid for the other one that also started contact with me just 1 month ago, just for "knowing how I am doing after all this time" and later he is telling me that he could visit me in here with his gf so we could talk calmer... As I've told him, I have no remorses to these people, I am just sad that so many are like that and that I once trusted them, cause I use to trust in those who spend with me a long time. But no remorses dont mean that I am stupid, and as my mom use to say: "each one to his/her house" (each one, take care of yourselves).
Oh this is not any kind of public reprimand, otherwise I'd write your name, but I can say that after my post-erasmus I became much stronger and energic with my points of view. I dont let anyone else to laugh at me. I know where and who my real friends are. I know the person(s) who should read this wont do it, but at least I feel released writing about that.

Talking about internationals, I took definitely the decision of quitting from the Erasmus Help in Vigo, being the last one a nice girl from Finland that was the person whom I had more feeling together with Mark, from Estonia. It was nice cause I wasnt having a very good feeling again about erasmus with my previous student from Poland. Seemed that she was very happy with my help searching for flats a couple of days, searching for banks (whole morning walking all Vigo searching for a bank that gave her a good change for almost a difference of cents of pounds... ), taking her friends to good "tapas" places, inviting her and 2 of her friends to a dinner in my flat when I had 2 more guests and starting cooking at 1:00 AM... all for not a single thank word and for quite an indifference all the rest of time (she even didnt tell me when was the day of her leaving). This left me a quite stupid face. It is clear that as voluntary, we dont ask for anything for our "services" but at least some gratitude sample or word would be nice. I remember I brought Eveliina, my old tutor a bottle of coffee liquor, invited her to dinner and I was (and will always be) so pleased that I had someone there when I came by plane to Tallinn, so totally lost and confused. The goodbye with her was also very sentimental :(

2 days ago I was phoned to help a new erasmus coming on 18th august, but I refused. No more erasmus, it is time to do what I must do in life and focus in that.

I told that I will stop a bit the personal stuff, but this time I couldnt avoid it :/ I guess it's a good therapy to write things when you feel like something is not fair.