miércoles, diciembre 24, 2008

Odd Christmas presents

Specially for this day, I just found some nice presents, so if you dont know what to give, have a look to the following ones :P (warning: high level of irony in the following lines)

First one: the child gym at home if you want your children grow up with enough muscles and so being the strongest and the bulling one in the kindergarden. Perfect as well for not spending too much time in unuseful learning or any books and preparing their future profession as security man in a pub or other stuff...
Second one: ouija for girls oh who is calling for the date?? maybe James Dean? Kurt Kobain?. The ideal gift if you want to introduce your daughter in the dark pink arts, paranormal, poltergeist experiences and with some luck, could develop a witchcraft art ;)
Pink mouse included :)

Third one: stationary bycicle for children. Tired your children are always wanting to go out to the street and want to play with other children? This is the solution! combined with the gym at home can be very good for the mental health of the growing child, who wont need anymore to go out from home and breath harmful air.

Finally, if the child is still a baby, and you have a rock star soul that you want to transmit to the new born one little by little, you can buy some nice lullabies in this page:
Description: Rockabye Baby! transforms timeless rock songs into beautiful instrumental lullabies. The soothing sounds of the glockenspiel, vibraphone, melltoron and other instruments will lull your baby into a sweet slumber.
So.. let's rock da cradle!!! XD
I was having a look to them and they actually seem the soundtrack of some of those terror movies were there is a ghost of a child who wants to make revenge or something like that XDD
There are a lot, Coldplay, Beatles, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, ... but I have chosen these ones like samples from the albums and I will place the funny comment that is written in the original page of every cd:

Ac/dc (Ba/by) - Highway to Hell

Do you have a problem child? Rock and roll ain’t noise pollution, but unwanted cries are. When you’re up to your neck in exhaustion and dirty diapers, AC/DC’s primordial anthems are just the ticket to ride on. Your little live wire will be rocked to sleep by these gentle instrumentals. For those about to nap, we salute you.

Do cries in the night make you a basket case? If a rambunctious baby is turning you into an insomniac, Green Day’s anthems about dookie and shenanigans can help make sweet children. Say good riddance to a cranky baby. Welcome to paradise.

Metallica - Wherever I May Roam
Metallica - Enter Sandman - a very proper song for a child trying to sleep indeed
...Sleep with one eye open
Gripping your pillow tight...
...Hush little baby, dont say a word
And never mind that noise you heard
Its just the beast under your bed,
In your closet, in your head...
These ones from Metallica are seriously a bit scary XDD

On this album, they’ll enjoy Metallica’s biggest anthems without the pesky earplugs you didn’t bother to wear growing up. We’ve turned down the volume from an eleven to a two, and made the bed ourselves. Say your prayers little one. Tonight the sandman will be gently rocking you to sleep with these essential masterpieces of rock'n'roll.

Close the doors and put out the light. This evening, your child’s journey consists of a delicate dreamscape woven by the heavens and forged by the hammer of the gods. Although Led Zeppelin’s music was rooted in blues and hard rock, an element of fantasy was always present. On this album, Led Zeppelin’s most extraordinary songs have received the lullaby treatment. Hasn’t it been a long time since your baby rock and rolled?

Hey daddy-os. Hey mommy-os too. Does your child need to be sedated? Should mama’s boy or girl be too busy howling at the moon, let them pulsate to this backbeat. The Ramones sang about brats, babysitters, and believing in miracles. Is there any doubt the band didn’t want to grow up? If you want a happy family, this album will provide pleasant dreams.