Páginas

jueves, enero 26, 2012

Críticas a Críticos: Enslaved - Axioma Ethica Odini por Ponderer

E aquí vamos con outro post para a colección de "críticas dudosas". Desta vez toca unha do último de Enslaved sacada do portal estoniano Metalstorm. Non puiden nada máis que pensar "con un par!!" cando vín unha crítica a Enslaved extremadamente negativa, e de primeiras, ainda que me gustara o disco, penso que se a crítica se fai dunha maneira constructiva, pode ter a súa chicha sendo interesante de ler, e, sabendo que neste mundo da arte ninguén ten a palabra absoluta, penso que calquera criticismo ben argumentado é válido, ainda que, coma neste caso o tema a tratar sexa un sobradamente enaltecido pola gran maioría de público ó que vai dirixido.
O malo é cando os argumentos distan de ser fiables e sólidos, facendo que toda a posible crítica se vaia ó garete pola falta de información, e por unha sobradez que deriva na simple falta de mínimo criterio. Vexamos:

Fuente: Metalstorm

Enslaved - Axioma Ethica Odini; Rating:
2.9/10

Here we are again. I say that because Enslaved are beating the proverbial "Nordic Black Metal" horse to death. It seems like this is becoming a standard out of the Northern European Black Metal scene these days. Scary makeup, growling vocals, droning guitars, and a complete lack of direction other than to throw in some "evil" lyrics. Like anyone will ever go as far as Mercyful Fate did in the 80's lyrically? Doubtful, and I haven't seen anyone do it yet.

Paramos; a ver... "Scary makeup, growling vocals, droning guitars, and a complete lack of direction other than to throw in some "evil" lyrics." ??? Como todos sabemos, Enslaved non levan nin maquillaje "blackero", nin teñen letras "malvadas", nin creo que teñan unha falta de dirección musical. Eso, na parte máis obxectiva e irrefutable. Logo... o do standard de Black Metal nórdico... obviamente este tipo non ten nin pajolera idea. O norte de Europa non creo que peque de quedarse estancado nos estándares noventeros, de feito últimamente estanse a mover moitos grupos co Black'n Roll, rollos máis progresivos ou máis "Death", etc... e non creo que Enslaved pertenezcan nin moito menos a eses "standard Black" nos que os incluye o señor Ponderer... non credes?

The only redeeming quality of this band is that the guitars have distortion, other than that it sounds like the rest of an already clichéd mess of metal coming out of northern Europe. It's basically a carbon copy of Immortal or Gorgoroth + (insert any band using the same gimmicks and sound from that region). The guitars drone away with the same simplistic rhythms using a grand total of 3 or 4 bar chords maximum for pretty much the length of any given track. Exhausting? More like headache inducing. The drums are nothing out of the ordinary providing a monotonous driving beat with little or no change, which when compounded with the lack of time changes or anything really interesting at all from the guitars, leaves the listener wondering, where's the beef? Where are the balls this music is supposed to retain which all the fanboys blather about?

"The only redeeming quality of this band is that the guitars have distortion".... qué fuertequefuertequefuerte XD e está claro, non? Immortal + Gorgoroth + calquera outro = Enslaved do Axioma Ethica Odini. Clarísimo! En canto ó que comenta da repetición de 3 ou 4 acordes máximo, baterías monótonas, ausencia de cambios de ritmo... esto raya entre o subxectivo e obxectivo... eu simplemente comentarei que aposto a que na súa vida oeu máis de 10 discos de Black Metal (que sería unha definición un pouco inexacta para o que eu concibo en Enslaved), e que por supuesto non lle gusta... cuestións ambas que me fan preguntar...
...poqué este home se puxo a tirar por terra un disco dun estilo que non escoita nin lle gusta?


Heavy? This couldn't be further from heavy. There's little or no chunk and grind which you'll find in bands like Nevermore or Exhumed. Heavy means driving, deep, rhythmic bass, and double bass drum blast beats with chunky, low, 7 and 8 string guitars. Heavy is music that has bite and gets right up in your face. Enslaved seem to be more about long, drawn out almost symphonic rhythms that never really go anywhere. Where are the time changes? Where are the melodic, blistering solos? Also, what's with all the growling and screaming all the time? Is everyone in Norway really so pissed off that there isn't any time to thoughtfully plan a cd and put some effort into the music?

Esa última frase é para enmarcar, que non? XDDD... e seguimos co show... penso que pouco máis queda por decir, o home expláyase en prácticamente insultar a Enslaved e a todo o movemento de Black nórdico...
Unha cousa que chama a atención é que non menciona case que a música do disco en sí. O que fai é lanzar verbas en contra do grupo, co cal dudo que acabase de escoitar o álbum antes de empezar a escribir, e o pouco que oiría sería pasando a "seguinte" ó chegar o minuto 4 vendo que lle quedaba o doble para acabar as cancións... pobriño.. se no fondo vese que sufreu poñendo Enslaved XDDD

When did people give up singing for growling, screaming, and grunting as if the vocalist is suffering from a bout of violent diarrhea throughout the entire cd? I like a good growl here and there like Opeth, but after an entire cd of it I want to take an ibuprofen. Enslaved made an attempt at mixing clean vocals with a growl on this cd, but it fell flat like the rest of their music.
The only thing I can fathom about the complete blind-devotion of the fans is that they don't know any better or haven't heard anything better. Enslaved left this listener wanting a hell of a lot more musically and lot less of the exact same tired, angry Nordic "scene," cd after cd. Giving this offering anything over a 3 is being generous.
This cd was a monotonous journey into boredom which would eventually spawn a headache. I actually enjoy bands like Amon Amarth, Ensiferum, and Wintersun because they all offer something musically. Their music actually goes somewhere, and some of the musicianship in these bands is god-like. Enslaved just aren't the caliber of musicians their fans make them out to be. You'll find so much more in bands like Symphony X, Fates Warning, Nevermore, Opeth, Death, Slayer, etc...
I don't hate Enslaved, I just think their music is severely lacking on just about every front. At least it's not Lady Gaga and the guitars are distorted

Performance: 3
Songwriting: 3
Originality: 2
Production: 2

Pois con un par!! XDDD a mín fíxome bastante gracia esta crítica, pero penso que a maioría de lectores de Metalstorm se lle botaron encima dunha maneira bestial XD
Moloume ese detalle final de poñer os grupos que se vé que máis lle gustan -e que pouco teñen que ver co disco revisado- como decindo: "escoitade esto que é o bon e deixade toda esa mangantada de grupos nordicos que berrean e (me) dan dolor de cabeza" XD

En fin... outra "contrareview" de mans de "EE dpto. de investigación".